Brummielad1975

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00
and a substantial tax cut saves you £30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought for today :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions
of cows in Britain but we haven't got a clue where millions of illegal immigrants
and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

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"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"

Shaving and neck ties must have been the ideas of a woman at some point in the past.

Who else would want men to drag a razor across our throats every morning and then putting a noose around our necks for the rest ofthe day!!

Oh what a glorious day this is turning out to be.

I awoke this morning, opened the blinds and saw the morning sunlight glittering off the clear flowing water.

What better view could you want on a Summer's day?

Then, as I slowly woke up, I released I'm a hundred miles from the nearest coast and there's no river nearby!!

Yes, the workmen have managed to drill though the water main and half the street now has a river flowing down it!

A nice little letter arrived through the door this morning from our local council notifying us of the fact that our water supply will be off during the day for 4 days this week! Which was nice!

Luckily this wasn't totally unexpected, this little group of workmen have been progressing (slowly) along the road now for months. Leaving a small trench in their wake. So far their track record is to have hit a water main and the power cables so far (resulting in half an hours blackout for the road!). The only thing they have left to hit now is a gas main.

With luck they'll go for the treble to save time - find the gas main, then the electric cable (triggering a fireball large enough to be seen the far side of Birmingham) and promptly put it out by hitting the water main next door!

I keep glancing out the window in case I can see the smoke! :-S