urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999 Random Rants brummielad1975 2008-01-18T16:55:05Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999:1537 2008-01-18T16:55:05Z 2008-01-18T16:55:05Z Ten Thoughts to Ponder<br /><br /><br /> Number 10<br /> Life is sexually transmitted.<br /><br /> Number 9<br /> Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.<br /><br /> Number 8<br /> Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.<br /> If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .<br /><br /> Number 7<br /> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, <br /> teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.<br /><br /> Number 6<br /> Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything,<br /> but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.<br /><br /> Number 5<br /> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.<br /><br /> Number 4<br /> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to<br /> criticism.<br /><br /> Number 3<br /> Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00<br /> and a substantial tax cut saves you £30.00?<br /><br /> Number 2<br /> In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.<br /> Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. <br /><br /> And The Number 1 Thought for today :<br /> We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions<br /> of cows in Britain but we haven't got a clue where millions of illegal immigrants<br /> and terrorists are located.<br /> Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.<br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /> "Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. <br /> What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999:1507 2007-10-31T10:52:09Z 2007-10-31T10:52:09Z "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - Seth, City of Angels urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999:1074 2006-09-27T07:46:34Z 2006-09-27T07:46:34Z Shaving and neck ties must have been the ideas of a woman at some point in the past.<br /><br />Who else would want men to drag a razor across our throats every morning and then putting a noose around our necks for the rest ofthe day!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999:860 2006-06-08T11:29:56Z 2006-06-08T12:43:28Z Oh what a glorious day this is turning out to be.<br /><br>I awoke this morning, opened the blinds and saw the morning sunlight glittering off the clear flowing water.<br /><br>What better view could you want on a Summer's day?<br /><br>Then, as I slowly woke up, I released I'm a hundred miles from the nearest coast and there's no river nearby!!<br /><br>Yes, the workmen have managed to drill though the water main and half the street now has a river flowing down it! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999:531 2006-05-30T09:28:01Z 2006-05-30T09:28:54Z Evanescence A nice little letter arrived through the door this morning from our local council notifying us of the fact that our water supply will be off during the day for 4 days this week! Which was nice!<br /><br>Luckily this wasn't totally unexpected, this little group of workmen have been progressing (slowly) along the road now for months. Leaving a small trench in their wake. So far their track record is to have hit a water main and the power cables so far (resulting in half an hours blackout for the road!). The only thing they have left to hit now is a gas main.<br /><br>With luck they'll go for the treble to save time - find the gas main, then the electric cable (triggering a fireball large enough to be seen the far side of Birmingham) and promptly put it out by hitting the water main next door!<br /><br>I keep glancing out the window in case I can see the smoke! :-S urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mitch9999:450 2006-05-25T14:48:47Z 2006-05-25T14:48:47Z Lordi (well it had to be didnt it?) Yes, its finally happened - whether its the lack of alcohol or lack of caffeine this week I'm not sure, but I thought it was about time I actually tried posting something on this thing.<br /><br>You can only lurk for so long before someone notices the space you're taking up in the world!<br /><br>So here goes...<br /><br>...erm...<br /><br>...what are you supposed to put in these things anyway??<br /><br>Everyone else seems to be able to find something to rant about on these, so how come its so *bleeping* difficult when I try and do it??<br /><br>Ok first thought - why do I work in an office with air conditioning unit that removes the cold air from the room and turns the heating up when the sun comes out, but has consistently been doing the opposite all winter long?? Its as if its mother was a confused thermos flask!<br /><br>Erm...rant over - for the moment.